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Memories

 There is a dilemma for trans folks, especially trans folks like me who came out and began transition late in life. What do you do with the past? What do you do with cherished memories? What pronouns do folks use to refer to the pre-trans you? The last question is by far the easiest. Since I was always a trans woman, even when I didn't let anyone else know, my pronouns for the past  are the same as my current pronouns. I use she/her pronouns now, if you are referring to me in the past (and you know my current preference) that's what you'd use for me in a past memory. I think it's the simplest and more importantly the most accurate way of using pronouns.  What to do with cherished memories is more complex. There are friends and relatives that knew me intimately throughout my pre-transition life. Many, I see very little in the present. We don't communicate regularly, except for the occasional  Facebook like or perfunctory birthday card. Maybe even a semi-annual Faceti

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